by Tim Komatsu ('15)
My fellow Americans, I have shocking news for you. After much careful deliberation, I have come to the terrifying conclusion that Robert Frost, American Poet Laureate and Pulitzer Prize winner, wants you to be eaten by a bear. Consider his poem “The Road Not Taken” which ends “Two roads diverge in a yellow wood, and I/I took the one less traveled by/and that has made all the difference”. If that doesn’t send a chill up your spine you better get yourself examined by a medical professional. Let’s examine possible reasons a road is less traveled by: It doesn’t lead anywhere, it leads to a bunch of bears, laying in wait for an idealistic youth, or some even worse possibility. When you are trying to get somewhere, you don’t throw the map out the window and hope that you’ll eventually get to the location! You use one of the incredibly specific and satellite guided devices you own to get to the location so that you can appreciate the beauty of nature for a long enough period of time to feel “outdoorsy” before hitting up the White Castle.
So why does Frost want us to take the road that no one else goes by? Buried treasure? Please, Frost, we’re smart enough to know that all pirates avoid wooded areas for fear of running into their natural enemy, the mischievous beaver. Adventure? I’ll rent “Rescuers Down Under” if I want an adventure, thank you very much. Introspection? C’mon Bobby. I hung up my beret and Charles Mingus records back in 2008. So what is the real reason that this “rugged” New Englander wants us wandering off into itchiness and general confusion? Simple. He wants us to be eaten by a bear. Now, unfortunately, I can’t think of a reason that he would want this…except for the fact that a surplus in hikers disappearing in the woods might lead to an increased level of mystique surrounding the great outdoors and therefore more opportunity for poetry. I’m onto you, Frost.
My fellow Americans, I have shocking news for you. After much careful deliberation, I have come to the terrifying conclusion that Robert Frost, American Poet Laureate and Pulitzer Prize winner, wants you to be eaten by a bear. Consider his poem “The Road Not Taken” which ends “Two roads diverge in a yellow wood, and I/I took the one less traveled by/and that has made all the difference”. If that doesn’t send a chill up your spine you better get yourself examined by a medical professional. Let’s examine possible reasons a road is less traveled by: It doesn’t lead anywhere, it leads to a bunch of bears, laying in wait for an idealistic youth, or some even worse possibility. When you are trying to get somewhere, you don’t throw the map out the window and hope that you’ll eventually get to the location! You use one of the incredibly specific and satellite guided devices you own to get to the location so that you can appreciate the beauty of nature for a long enough period of time to feel “outdoorsy” before hitting up the White Castle.
So why does Frost want us to take the road that no one else goes by? Buried treasure? Please, Frost, we’re smart enough to know that all pirates avoid wooded areas for fear of running into their natural enemy, the mischievous beaver. Adventure? I’ll rent “Rescuers Down Under” if I want an adventure, thank you very much. Introspection? C’mon Bobby. I hung up my beret and Charles Mingus records back in 2008. So what is the real reason that this “rugged” New Englander wants us wandering off into itchiness and general confusion? Simple. He wants us to be eaten by a bear. Now, unfortunately, I can’t think of a reason that he would want this…except for the fact that a surplus in hikers disappearing in the woods might lead to an increased level of mystique surrounding the great outdoors and therefore more opportunity for poetry. I’m onto you, Frost.